I know; it’s 2019. Everyone’s offended by everything. We’re all snowflakes who need safe places. We constantly have to tell our grandparents that they “cannot say that anymore.” Political correctness is a concept that people mock because it’s not their fault everyone is a whiny baby.
But I don’t know, y’all. Some things are just downright mean and disrespectful. And some groups feel this much more than others.
(I’m talking about women.)
We are seriously out here feeling like it’s 1919. Sometimes, after reading the comments on women’s social media posts or watching the news, I legit think that I will walk outside, and it will look like one of those western movies my grandmother loves so much. Because this is not the 21st century. This cannot be.
Now, I am one of those “nasty women.” You know the kind - opinionated, outspoken, intelligent enough to form my own mind. So, imagine my surprise when things started getting more restrictive for women in 2019. (Well, I say it’s surprise, but it’s really just anger mixed with hysterical laughter because this really cannot be real.) All I can think is that we cannot let them win.
When actual sexist legislation by actual government officials is being considered and approved, how do we take control of our own lives again? How do we break the shackles of the damsels in distress and become our very own white knights?
That’s when it hit me.
The absolutely inspiring Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” We may not be able to stop anti-female legislation yet, but we can control how we allow people to make us feel. We can choose to take away their power and reclaim our own worthiness. But how do we do it?
Well, I’ve heard that it’s easier to win a war on your own land, so we start within ourselves. We start with changing how their words can make us feel by actively choosing to not let it bother us. We remind ourselves that these words are just letters that can be taken apart just as easily as they were put together.
I sat and thought about all the offensive words I’ve ever been called, and I’ve settled on these 3 dirty, filthy words that I’ve decided will no longer hurt me.
AGGRESSIVE
By definition, aggressive means ready or likely to attack or confront and lists the words antagonistic and belligerent as synonyms.
The last time I was called aggressive was because I disagreed with a man. No surprise there. There was no confrontation in it, and it wasn’t even a disagreement. I just stated a different view on how to handle a problem we were discussing. You know, to have different solutions to consider.
The word aggressive, and its evil sisters abrasive and bitchy, have been used for years to taunt women who are not afraid of being successful or expressing their opinions. It’s designed to mock those of us that have decided to go against assigned gender roles and remind us that we are supposed to be seen and not heard.
Remember that every single time women gained more freedoms and every single time women gained more opportunities, it was because of the actions of an aggressive woman, or a group of aggressive women.
SLUT
By definition, slut means a woman who has many casual sexual partners; a woman with low standards of cleanliness and lists the words prostitute and skank as synonyms.
The first time I was called a slut, I was in high school, and I was still a virgin. Yep. I was still a virgin.
The harsh reality of the word slut is that it’s not just a word that men use to degrade us. It’s also a word women use to degrade each other. I don’t even think it matters if our sexual activities are frequent enough to fit the definition. Calling a woman a slut is saying that she is less than human - an animal that is only interested in satisfying her base urges. At its core, the word slut is dehumanizing.
I am happy to say that in my adult years, I’ve been able to witness more and more women defending women, especially when it comes to slut-shaming. It’s become more common to see lady friends encouraging each other to have healthy, guilt-free sex lives. There are still a ton of minds to change when it comes to women having ownership over their own bodies, but, for now, slut is just another 4-letter-word you can ignore.
BOSSY
By definition, bossy means fond of giving people orders; domineering and lists the words harsh and tyrannical as synonyms.
I knew I was “bossy” at a young age. I was the oldest child of three, so I heard the word often from my siblings. But the first time I really heard it, I was in high school. I was the editor of the newspaper staff, and I had a mixture of boys and girls that were staff members. I was reminding one of the boys that their article was due in a few days, and he told me to stop being so bossy. Something in the way he said it made me finally understand what it meant. It was condescending, like I had no right to be giving assignments to him.
Since then, I cannot count how many times I have heard women in positions of authority be called bossy. I also hear little girls with strong wills called bossy very often. Of all the terms used to describe women negatively, bossy is the one most likely to also affect young girls. It’s important for us to know that, as adult women, we do have the right, the intellect, and the ability to rise to high positions and absolutely dominate them. And it’s equally as important to support strong wills and minds in our young girls as they grow into women.
Which dirty, filthy words are you choosing to ignore today?!
Remember:
Words are powerful, but they are also at the mercy of humans and how we use them. We can wield them as weapons, or we can use them to uplift. We can allow them to break our spirits, or we can refuse them the right to hurt us.